Building Togetherness That Lasts Generations

Threading the Family Story—Why Togetherness Matters

When I talk about togetherness, I picture both big gatherings and small moments—like the way my family might tell old stories at dinner or make space for honest disagreement. I come from a lineage of ranchers, grocers, restaurant owners, even a basement gunsmith. That entrepreneurial thread runs in my blood, though I never recognized it until I was already “doing my own thing.” If your family history feels fractured or hard, you’re not alone in that either. We all start the story from where we are.

Togetherness isn’t about agreeing on everything or having a spotless legacy. It’s built in conversation, the ordinary habits of showing up, and the choices we make to keep moving forward together, even when that takes effort. Some families love gathering for a big reunion, others lean into weekly pizza nights, backyard grilling, or just a simple chat after work. What matters is finding rituals that fit your story—no matter how humble the beginning.

Setting New Patterns When History Is Broken

If the idea of family togetherness ties your stomach in knots, I hear you. Many of us didn’t inherit strong traditions. My own Gen-X upbringing leaned heavily on individualism, which meant not much in the way of regular routines. Honestly, I had to learn to start from zero. It’s a relief to realize that even small, repeated acts—starting a regular Friday pizza night, blessing your kids each day, or sharing “Who are you?” on the drive to school—can set new patterns for the future.

Some families look effortless from the outside, but most of what you see is the product of habits repeated year after year. Don’t be discouraged by comparisons or slow progress. As I often remind myself, “Our daily lives are for the children of our families that we will never meet.” It’s about the small investments—showing up, being present, and extending grace—that create something lasting, even if the results aren’t instant.

Weaving the Four Family Threads in Daily Life

I rely on four threads to anchor our family and clients:

• Faith in God: Faith isn’t just a value—it’s the belief we’re part of a story so much bigger than ourselves. That trust in a purpose beyond today helps me keep perspective, forming habits that matter even when I’ll never see the outcome. I believe God’s hand works across generations.

• Togetherness: The real habit here is choosing to decide things as a family. Sometimes it’s a serious conversation; sometimes it’s just getting everyone to the table for a shared meal. Either way, it’s about learning to move forward as one.

• Learning: I try to spark curiosity—whether that’s reading together, sharing what I picked up at work, or encouraging my kids to articulate who they are. Daily repetition—like asking my kids about their identity or reflecting on what we’re grateful for in a gratitude journal—keeps the thread of learning alive.

• Flourishing: Our job is to help each family member thrive, even if their path is wildly different from ours. If one of us would rather paint or write than join the family business, we cheer them on. Flourishing is about supporting individuality, not forcing everyone into the same mold.

The greatest family assets aren’t material. They’re people and time. Sometimes I see families clinging tightly to the business and missing the deeper value of their own togetherness. I remind clients—and myself—that every person at the table and the ticking clock are infinitely precious.

Recording stories also matters. I’m not much for journaling, but I see the power in keeping gratitude journals or recording a grandparent’s stories. Even if it’s just for the archive, those records become guideposts for those who come next.

What Endures Is What You Build Together

There’s a concept called cathedral thinking: laying stones today for a structure you may never see finished. Each act—however small—sets direction for generations. "Our daily lives are for the children of our families that we will never meet." Start simple, start small, and trust that these patterns will, over time, become the backbone of a resilient, flourishing legacy.